KING WOBBLY: This is King Wobbly.  He reigns over the tiny Kingdom of Erling, and he thinks being a king is really neat.  This is an especially good job for King Wobbly because he very much likes wearing crowns.  Aside from wearing crowns, he has a keen interest in interior decoration.  He also enjoys scrapbooking, but not as much as decorating.

GENERAL COBB: This is General Cobb.  He’s pretty hot stuff around Erling.  He’s famous for leading his troops to victory in the Battle for Big Sticky, the Pumpkin Pie Wars, and the Gulo Invasion.  He’s not just good at fighting.  He’s very smart too.  Since he’s a very smart guy, he also advises King Wobbly on military matters.

SAMUEL ANKLES: This is Samuel.  He's your typical royal assistant.  He rarely asks questions, he puts up with all of King Wobbly’s eccentricities, and he’s probably the most competent, talented employee in the castle.  However, he’s quiet.  So, he is often overlooked and his accomplishments rarely go noticed.  He cries when he's alone.

MR. PEAJACK:  This is Lester K. Peajack.  Not much is really known about him.  A number of rumors have circulated around Erling about his life before his tenure as chief financial advisor.  Some say that he was a witch practicing black magic in the land of Gorko.  Others suggest that he was once a warrior monk in the land of Ootar.  Ultimately, nobody really knows.  Regardless of origin, he is generally regarded as an eccentric old man who is “not right” in the head.

CHEF CHET:  This is Chef Chet Drummel.  He is a very good chef.  He was trained at the Blendok Academy of Tasty Cookerage.  Unfortunately, King Wobbly has an unusual palette that typically demands not-so-sophisticated cuisine.  Thus, Chef Chet often finds himself preparing puddings, custards, and PB&Js.

MARK: This is Mark Dark.  Mark doesn't have any life goals.  Thus, he is rarely disappointed.  That's good for Mark.

PULLTAB:  This is Pulltab.  He's a smelly pirate who normally sails under the commanded of the dreaded pirate, Dickey Lobsterfist.  He steals, plunders, cheats, and lies, but he's not all bad.  In fact, he has a very generous heart.  Unfortunately, Bloro is always around to steer him in the wrong direction.

BLORO:  This is Bloro.  He's a pirate, but he's not quite as smelly as Pulltab.  Bloro is mostly famous for sacking the town of Potbelly's Landing on accident.  He's a pretty smart guy for being a stupid guy, and he's also really good at drinking his way into impenetrable fortifications.

GASSY HOGBREATH:  This is Gassy.  He's not a nice guy.  He also happens to own Gassy's Inn.  It's a bar located on the docks of Crown Town.  It's mostly a hangout for fishermen, pirates, gamblers, and other seedy characters.  Don't get Gassy upset.  He'll deep fry you, and serve you to the customers.

DEXTER PONG:  This is Dexter.  He's likely to crop up just about anywhere.  He's a kleptomaniac.

ROYAL ERLISH GUARD:  This is a generic Erlish Guard.  These guys are pretty good at defending the kingdom.  After all, they carry around large, studded clubs.  They're pretty good at using those clubs too.  Most people can't even lift one without help.  All Erlish Guards are members of the Erlish Defense and Hired-Muscle Union.

MR. JONES:  This is the royal architect, Mr. Jones.

REX:  This is Rex Greenwater.

UNCLE GUNTHER:  This is Gunther Burnside.

BIG HEAD:  This is Bo "Big Head" Boggs.

DODGY PONG:  This is Dexter's brother, Dodgy Pong.